


your eyes

by mscarlettbitch



Category: Naruto
Genre: Fix-It, Multiple Pairings, POV Multiple, Post-Canon, Post-Canon Fix-It, guess who's projecting on sakura and using writing abt her as a coping mechanism, rating will def go up lol, sakura is my favorite girl and i just want her to be happy, sasuke uchiha goes to therapy, will update tags as I go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2018-11-01
Packaged: 2019-07-07 10:41:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15906642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mscarlettbitch/pseuds/mscarlettbitch
Summary: you come out and say the word, quick how all the tables turned.hate that there's a space to fill, always have and always will.i'm there when your fingers snap,it's not where we left it at





	1. space to fill

**Author's Note:**

> so this is my naruto fix-it fic lol basically i follow canon up to the end of shippuden and some of the final time skip stuff but uhhh i get fucky on a Lot of the unanswered questions kishimoto has left us with (especially after the last gaiden///) .. some of the kids will appear, but this mostly takes place before they're born/when they're babies 
> 
> this is mainly abt sakura but there's a strong sasunaru subplot- and will probably feature sakura and some ocs and a lot of random pairings that i like bc fuck kishimotos heterosexual canon and also the rookie 9 are in their 20s here so yeah they fuckin lol
> 
> enjoy this mess!!!

\----

it had been 3 months since the war.

 

and everything had settled... mostly..

 

the unbearable weight of mourning the hundreds of thousands who were killed wasn't something that could be easily shaken.

but all the survivors, even those who never saw the real terror of the frontline, walked away with heavy scars and an endless sense of hope... they'd made it through the _apocalypse_ ,, and they’d never forget how lucky it was they were alive.

 

things changed very quickly. after the fighting ended and talks of an official peace treaty started everyone returned home to111 heal the gapping wounds of war left in each village. it kinda’ felt like a mini vacation from shinobi life... but not really. everything was quiet, too quiet, as most of the remaining population spent the subsequent months in hospitals or on ordered bed rest.

the streets were basically empty; scattered with people brave enough to venue out, still carrying sorrow heavily on their shoulders... polite smiles and greetings were usually exchanged but everyone felt the underlying shift... the unfilled places left by the dead.

 

and yet, life continued on.

 

sakura knew how impossible it was for her to be here. there were so many times when she could have died, when she should have died, but miraculously, impossibly, every time she'd been saved. of course she didn’t forget her own power as a reason for her survival, she'd punched a fucking _ninja god_ in the head, she knew she was strong....but she'd been naive.. it was hard not to be at 16, but she'd learned very quickly from her mistakes and grew. it wasn't easy, it could have never been easy, but she persisted, they persisted, and eventually things went back to a relative state of normal.

 

as sakura had been one of the lucky few to need minimal healing, she'd immediately jumped into a position at the main hospital with tsunade, acting as her assistant while shizune was dispatched to do her healing work independently... though sakura soon took over much of tsunade's role at the hospital, as the extended battle had drained her chakra more severely than first thought. everyone forgot just how old the legendary sanin was, even the woman herself, but after fainting over a patient's bed (both a terrible and delightful thing for the injured shinobi) she was ordered to proper rest and more sedentary hokage activities.

 

sakura still assisted her in these things as well, accompanying her in kage meetings to draft the peace treaty and village meetings to discuss how to mend the lingering wreckage of pein's attack and the additional aftershocks of the war.

it was tiring work, she’d honestly never been this busy in her life, but it felt good to serve the village like this.

 

_to be useful_

 

———————

 

to the shock and surprise of everyone, except naruto apparently, sasuke had decided to actually stay in the village.

 

after about a month in the hospital together the two had emerged, closer and more changed than anyone could really understand.

 

but sakura thought that maybe, maybe,, she could. the images of the two on the frontline fighting madara, kaguya, _eachother_ , still played in terrible living color in her head... she had seen the way they had flawlessly, effortlessly, melded together on the battlefield, the great and terrifying and wonderful power that came from the deep connection between their souls....

sakura remembered the first emotion that had flashed thru her when she finally truly understood what the undeniable soulmates held between them...

 

_jealousy_

 

maybe a few other people got it too; kakashi had been the only other person to see the true extent of sasuke and naruto's bond, and the hidden knowing smile he wore upon seeing the bonded pair spoke of understanding... tsunade's reaction to them walking into her office after being released had been oddly telling too. she hit the two with a long piercing stare, naruto shuffling uncomfortably and sasuke glaring back at full force, and then let out a small truly amused chuckle.

 

"i guess it's pointless to separate you two on missions anymore, huh?"

 

naruto, surprisingly, broke out in a full faced blush, and sasuke merely laughed.

 

"you could say that, not that it'd be a wise decision to do that anyway."

 

"oh? and who are you to tell me what's wise, traitor?"

 

sasuke bristled at that, but had no reply. what could he say to the truth?

 

"sasuke’s not a trator! he helped us, baa-chan, and kakashi has already agreed to his reinstatement as a konoha nin."

 

“i’m aware of kakashi's decision, naruto - but i’m not retired _yet_ , stupid brat, so watch your tongue."

 

naruto tensed, probably ready with a nasty retort, but sasuke put his arm out to hold him back

 

"shut up, idiot, she’s just riling you up." he muttered at naruto, knowing the blonde didn't really need to hear him to understand his words. of course the uchiha had figured out the terrifyingly deep extent of the bond between them by now. really, after a month basically alone in a boring hospital room together, there wasn't much the two Didn't know about eachother anymore..

 

tsunade smirked, _guess he saw through That, huh_

 

"you wanted to see how linked our emotions were, right? well here's your answer... _hokage-sama_ " this last part was said with such dripping content, that even without his accompanying wave of immense chakra, his anger would have been evident.

 

on the outside tsunade didn’t seem to be phased by this, but she did have the decency to look impressed at sasuke's obvious show of strength.

 

_they won't be trifled with... got it_

 

"calm down, sasuke, i wasn’t being serious. i know very well what you're capable of and i would be a fool not to utilize that..."

she paused, her amused -if slightly forced- smile faltering, "..but there is still the issue of your loyalty."

 

this time it was sasuke who tensed at her words, and naruto moved his arm to grip the raven's clenched fist and give his hand a firm squeeze.

 

the action was so... domestic.... done in such a way that you could tell it’d been repeated hundreds of times before... sakura felt another bolt of icyhot envy shoot thru her subconscious.

 

sasuke's eyes had briefly flashed an angry red, but as he glanced at naruto they slowly faded darker and darker. the wave of calm washing over him Had to be from naruto. he knew the blonde figured out the basics of their shared emotions, and had no hesitation in projecting his feelings to sasuke at Any time... but still, it felt strange to be so connected around other people..

 

the moment lasted only a few seconds, but it felt like years of unity and understanding...

sakura had never felt so disconnected.

 

naruto spoke up, hand now holding sasuke's, with the confidence and authority that could only come from saving the world.

 

"baa-chan, you don't have to worry about sasuke's loyalty. he’s promised he'll stay, and i know he wouldn't lie to me."

 

for the first time in her life sakura saw the stoic boy fully blush. his face lighting up like his eyes, as he pulled his hand from naruto's and muttered to himself, _idiot_

 

tsunade's smile widened, looking more genuine and relieved at the future hokage's words.

 

"hmm. well, i believe you naruto. but i’m not sure the village is gonna see it that way.."

 

"i'll make them see it that way! i'll tell the truth and then we can clear sauke's name!!"

 

"naruto... do you really think that's a good idea?"

 

everyone in the room knew sasuke's innocence. the real reasons he left, and the lasting mental damage from years of being alone with his hatred.but none knew as well as naruto.. he'd seen into sasuke's heart, felt the deep intertwining of their souls, and saw all the uchiha had experienced from his own eyes.

 

the pain, the hatred, the loneliness; all of it swirled within naruto now.

he would do anything to make sure his partner never felt that way again. even if it takes a lifetime.

 

still, no one in the village besides the former team 7 and hokage knew the truth of itachi. the horrors done on behalf of the village... ordered by danzo under the third's watch... the council was all dead, but the backlash of the reality would still likely be chaotic. was Now really the time for that?

 

“No”

 

it was kakashi who spoke up now, finally making an appearance in the conversation he'd been eavesdropping on.

 

the others in the room weren't shocked, he had hid just before the pair walked in, but naruto had sensed him on the way in and informed sasuke anyway.

 

“kakasensei! you coward, if you're gonna listen anyway just stay in the room!" the blonde let go of sasuke's hand to cross his arm over his chest, before remembering he didn't have another to pair it with, and settled for propping it on his hip, "we all knew you were there anyway"

 

the older nin's visible eye squinted into an apologetic crescent and he rubbed a hand on the back of his neck and replied,

"i didnt want you to get mad at me again.."

 

the impending hokage had visited naruto in the hospital to discuss sasuke's future with the village, and had disagreed with the blonde simply to see his reaction (and maybe test the truth of their bond a little too), but with the newly united chakra sending years worth of emotions into eachother's psyche, the blonde had been a little,, volatile...

 

kakashi paled a bit at the memory of his former pupil and future successor going from calm fury, to raging anger, and finally desperate tears at his empathetical recalling of sasuke's pain, loneliness, and newfound guilt... tbh he wasn't ready to face that again...

 

"well that didn't really work out for you, did it." the blonde clicked his tongue at the man, " _tch-_ lazy sensei"

 

kakashi continued to rub his neck and look apoplectic, but naruto pressed on unfazed.

 

"so what do you mean by 'No', sensei? You agreed to the conditions already, we'll serve the village- help rebuild and shit, then sasuke will have worked out his debt to the village, you said it was fine!"

 

"yes, i agreed to that naruto, and i know godaime-sama has as well," kakashi paused to gather himself and look naruto straight in the eye, "but i never said anything about telling the village of itachi."

 

naruto felt more than saw his partner’s hand seize up beside him. he knew what the raven wanted, for itachi's sacrifice to be recognized, _remembered_ , for the heroic thing it was, and not the foul lie it had become. "sasuke..." he reached out to clasp their hands again but sasuke just shot him a quick look before nodding. _It’s alright_

 

“He’s right.” sasuke wasn’t looking at anyone, staring out the window vacantly even as naruto gaped at his aloof demeanor,

 

“b- but….. sasuke,,“

 

"he's _right_.” the raven repeated, impossible to tell if he was affirming naruto or himself, “we have to wait. if we do this carelessly the reaction could send the village into chaos.. we don’t have nearly enough proof to let this out in the open yet”

 

"but we can find some! we know where danzo kept his information, sai has agreed to help us, and-"

 

"yes, that Was the idea impatient brat- you'll begin serving on the intel recovery mission as soon as possible. i know you two haven’t been outside much this past month, but the village isn’t quite in a state to be starting new complex missions yet."

 

naruto did look a little ashamed at that, he loved this village more than anything, and he wanted to help but...

 

"yeah, i.... i know. we'll help with the reconstruction, we'll do whatever we can. but.. you better let us do this, baa-chan."

 

"yes, yes, of course- once i have enough active shinobi back to full strength i’ll send you off right away.”

 

her gaze intensifying as she steepled her fingers and continued,

 

"okay, well, if thats settled then i’d like to move on to the next issue here.... sasuke, i’d like you to begin attending therapy."

 

“what?? therapy? why! he's perfectly fine, we worked everything out and-“

 

“naruto this isn’t about you-“

 

“yes! it is! if it’s about sasuke, it’s about me too!”

 

the flush quickly returned to the raven's face, _how can he just blurt out such embarrassing things like that!_

 

but in the end, tsunade was probably right. yes, he and naruto had worked on his deep-seated issues and trauma together, but sasuke was in-tune enough with himself now to realize he still had a long way to go..

 

" okay."

 

the answer took everyone off guard, no one thinking the proud uchiha would agree to emotional counseling, but looking between her old teammates as they exchanged a heavy stare, sakura understood why.

 

to sasuke's bruised and broken heart, naruto's warm energy had been like first aid; gently piecing together the shards and sticking them in place to heal... but like with any large wound, the full recovery would be much longer.

 

sasuke must have understood this from his deep emotional connection to naruto. being able to see yourself from the prospective of someone who'd always loved you, nearly unconditionally, did wonders for a person's self worth... and the man found himself actually caring about his own well being for the first time in years.

 

"ooo-kay then..." tsunade broke the silence, clearly shocked the ex-rogue nin had agreed so quickly, but glad to avoid a fight. "you'll come here once a week and meet with me, one hour- and after a month or so i'll evaluate your progress."

 

“and i'll get to come with him, right??”

 

all eyes turned to naruto, but as he and sasuke stared eachother down for the the seemingly billionth time, the sanin got tired of waiting and chimed in.

 

"sasuke, it'll be completely up to you whether naruto will come or not, okay?"

 

the raven never looked away from naruto's face, but he simply nodded,

 

"yeah, that sounds fine to me"

 

finally breaking eye contact with the blonde, sasuke looked to the hokage, "is that all, then?"

 

tsunade smirked, she'd figured naruto's impudence would rub off on him.

 

"yeah that's all, you're dismissed, get out of my office."

 

sasuke gave a polite bow before turning to the door, pointedly not looking at his steaming blonde companion, and sakura caught the slightest glimpse of a smirk on his face.

 

naruto, who had never taken his eyes off the uchiha, scrunched up his face in an expression of annoyance that could only be provoked by sasuke. but the small upturn of his lips went unnoticed by none. he nodded a quick goodbye to tsunade, leveled one last glare at kakashi, and gave sakura a wave and full faced smile.

 

catching up with sasuke quickly (actually- did he just teleport to his side??), the blonde attempted to catch their hands together multiple times as the two bantered out the door together.

 

"hey sasuke, you won’t actually keep me outta your meetings will you tho?"

 

"hn, we'll see idiot"

 

"eehhh?? sasuke, no fair!"

 

with the two now well out of earshot, tsunade broke the silence once more with a hearty laugh and moved to hold her head in her hands as her tense shoulders dissolved with laughter. she laughed to herself for a long moment, kakashi and saskura exchanging confused shrugs.

 

"heh, those two never fail to surprise me."

 

kakashi actually giggled at the remark, "i know what you mean, the atmosphere around them is kinda... heavy,, don’t ya think"

 

"that’s true.... it kinda feels like....like they could fuse into one person at any time,, if they wanted.."

 

sakura hadn't really meant to say it out loud, but her mentors just nodded in sagely agreement, the pink haired girl too caught up in her thoughts to notice the two hokage's shared glance,, or kakashi's lingering stare..

 

\-------

 

to sakura's surprise, tsunade did actually put the old team 7 back together for a few petty reconstruction missions. routine manual labor that all shonobi were doing to help put the leaf village back together, it was easy enough work, mostly using their incredible powers to move piles of shit and demolish half-wreaked buildings, but it was fun. the team feel into their old banter quickly, mostly because of sasuke's new more chill attitude, and sakura felt the hole that had taken root in her heart begin to fill.

 

_sasuke was back_

 

and maybe their bond wasn't exactly like it used to be, maybe it wasn’t perfect in the way she’d fantasized about, but he was real and _there_ and that was enough.

 

still,, the subtle differences started to chip away at her... the air between her former teammates was so...exclusionary..

sure maybe they all got along- the three understanding eachother on a very base level (spending most of your teens partaking in deadly missions together on a semi-regular basis would do that)- but sakura couldn't help feeling..well... left out

 

she was one of the only other people sasuke talked to, besides naruto.. and kakashi, who'd taken to hanging around the 3 whenever he could.. and tsunade, who was for all intents and purposes his therapist.... he would acknowledge other people in the village, but his small smiles and amused chuckles were only reserved for Them,, _tho none of it matched the warmth he gave to naruto._

 

sakura tried her best to enjoy the time they spent together; team 7 hadn't been this close in years. well physically atleast... mentally, _emotionally_ , sakura could only feel the distance between herself and her former teammates slowly growing.

 

soon (too soon) all the major rebuilding was done. the reconstruction effort had steadily made its mark on the village, the more skilled nins no longer needed for the much simpler tasks left to do.

and as more and more shinobi came out of bed rest or hospital stays, the three spent less and less time together.

 

so the team disbanded.

 

———

 

almost immediately, naruto went into training to become hokage, even accompanying tsunade to many of the kage meetings, and sasuke all but disappeared from the public eye. sakura only vaguely knew his whereabouts from snippets of conversation between present and future hokages, but she knew he was still in the village...mostly.. he was away a lot, usually on anbu missions with naruto.. even tho naruto himself wasn't technically anbu. after watching him basically stop the end of the world, tsunade, kakashi, (and really the village as a whole) decided he had more than earned the title.. and as naruto was the only shinobi in the village who would be able to stop sasuke if he ever decided to go rogue again, it worked out nicely for them.

 

but sakura knew there was something more. something hidden.

 

the missions themselves were secret, of course. naruto and sasuke were at the top of the anbu forces, reporting directly to the hokage, and even as her assistant sakura wasn't allowed to stay in the room for their debriefings.

 

it was frustrating. she knew the whole truth, knew what the evidence sasuke was looking for contained, and yet no one would give her any information. she was being kept out of the loop on purpose,

or maybe not, she thought, maybe they just forgot about me..

 

sakura had felt important, to be in the know about something so secret. thinking she'd finally earned her place of trust among the team who'd together taken down a god, and yet... they still won't tell me anything

 

naruto still kept in touch. asking her on many 'dates', mostly for the joke of it (and secretly they both liked the idea of copying their old masters' not-so-hidden, but ultimately fruitless flirting) but he almost always followed thru...and sometimes he even brought sasuke... (though those nights always ended much more uncomfortably than any party wanted to admit)

 

sakura still loved them. really. Both of them, but it was hard to not feel like a third-wheel around the two now that they were so.... _other_..

 

really these two had changed the most after the war. more than the village, more than the people, they had become something else. something more. and sometimes, just sometimes, when watching the two exist together so flawlessly in-sync, even in their still consistent bickering, it was hard to see them as simply human.

 

it was strange. it was beautiful.

 

it was heartbreaking.

 

sakura gave up on trying to compete with them. it just wasn’t possible. she'd seen first-hand what naruto and sasuke had done during the war.... and their power was incomparable.

 

and she'd gotten over sasuke. she _had_.

she worked so hard to do so, burying herself in work and focusing her thoughts.

 

you think it'd be easier to get over someone who'd tried to kill you before.

 

it was so much easier when she didn't see it. out of sight, out of mind. but in these nights, these terrible bittersweet team reunions, she couldn't help slipping into old habits.

 

either naruto was too dense to see how she looked at sasuke, or he didn't care.. both were bad in their own way... but somehow the second option seemed worse

 

he knows nothing, no one, would ever come between them, could ever come between them now. not even their old teammate.

 

it was one of these nights, an awkward evening at ichiraku with naruto both physically and emotionally planted between sakura and her seemingly insurmountable childhood crush.

 

sasuke had left earlier, (village patrol, he'd said, after a long-held and weighted glance with naruto that clearly contained a whole hidden conversation), and the blonde walked sakura home as he always did.

 

"ne, sakura-chan," he started, peering at her as they walked side by side, "are you getting enough sleep?"

 

"haa? what are you asking me that for, dumbass...you know what my schedule is like nowadays...."

 

she turned her head, embarrassment flushing her cheeks, _what the fuck was this idiot getting at?? had her fatigue really been showing enough for this numbskull to pick up on it?? there's No Way he read the tension between her and sasuke, right??_

 

"aaah, yeah i guess that's true," naruto carried on, unaware of sakura's mental gymnastics, "with your double shifts at the hospital and traveling with baa-chan all the time you probably don't get much rest..." the blonde trailed on, but sakura's thoughts wandered.

 

its true she'd given up a few precious hours of much needed sleep to see the two, their meetings becoming less and less frequent nowadays,,, _but_ , a pitiful voice in the back of her head had said, _if you go maybe you'll see sasuke!_

 

ha, yeah. that'd turned out really well

 

the uchiha had barely acknowledged her at all during the meal, never without her addressing him first, and even their old cadence of berating naruto had fallen out of sync- as sasuke's retorts had become more and more laced with not-so-hidden affection.

 

god this was a nightmare

 

"ne! sakura-chan!"

 

the kunoichi snapped back to reality. _wow,_ she really needed to sleep.

 

"it's.....nothing. im fine, naruto."

 

"no, you clearly aren't sakura,"

 

oh. okay... maybe naruto was more perceptive than she gave him credit for then... and maybe it was the glass of sake she'd had at dinner, to try and forget sasuke's coldness and naruto's ignorance, that had her voice the question constantly haunting her mind,

 

"what is sasuke really doing right now."

 

"w-what? sakura-chan, you already know what he's doing, he just said he went to go patrol-"

 

"oh please, naruto, dont act so dumb. i know what he's _really_ doing, what he's looking for..."

 

the blonde was stubbornly looking away, not able to look her in the eye and lie,

 

"eeeeh, well if you already know then what do i have to tell you"

 

"idiot! you Know that's not what i mean!!!"

 

she stopped to take a quick breath- _well, here goes nothing,_

 

"im so Sick of being kept out of the loop, i already know the truth, so why can't i be in on this with you????" she was almost yelling now, but so what- sakura was tired of keeping this inside her all this time, she was gonna get her answers.

 

"because- "

 

"no, naruto, i swear to _god_ if you say hokage's orders im gonna punch your balls off- i Know her opinion, she kept me in the room that day for a Reason-"

 

"it wasn't baa-chan! it- it was...because i,,we.... didn't wanna get you involved..”

 

the kunoichi had to stop herself from rolling her eyes,

 

"oh god, and who's this 'we' huh? i know You will never see me as more than something to protect, but you expect me to believe Sasuke gives a shit about my wellbeing?"

 

"dont!.. say that.. you don’t know, he..."

 

"oh of course, _i don’t know_ -i never know! you'll always tell me about everything, Everything, except sasuke. i just don't understand why This is the thing that you drew the line on…. i was there on the frontlines with you, naruto! we took down a god together, so why can't i know about this??? don't you... don't you trust me?"

 

the blonde ninja immediately cut in, "no sakura, its not like that-"

 

but the proud girl was Not having it. "tell me what it's like, then! please, i just...." a pause, she was losing her steam,

 

getting angry at naruto was never as satisfying as it was with other people... no rush of pride at winning an argument, or rightfully berating; rather, fighting with the blonde only made her feel exhausted,

 

"i just want you to talk to me."

 

they both stopped here for a moment. sakura catching her breath, and naruto staring down at the ground, his eyes shaded.

 

"sakura-chan..i’m sorry, i know you're worried but i don’t want you to get caught up in this if the mission goes down hill,”

 

"oh like i wouldn’t already be caught up in it _anyway_ , even with the small amount of information i’ve been Allowed to have-"

 

the blonde turned his face away, unreadable, "i know that! and that's exactly why i’m trying to keep you out of harms way here!"

 

"oh thats so dumb, naruto," she paused to scrub her hand over her face in exasperation, "what are you trying to protect me from? you know if you or sasuke ever got hurt i’d come rushing to your sides' whether you like it or Not." this was true, as sakura had proved many times before.

 

"yeah i kno- "

 

"then why keep this from me!!" she was near shouting again, frustration prickling in the corners of her eyes.

 

"i don’t want you to risk your life for us anymore!" naruto shouted this, louder than anything said that night, "and its not just me who thinks so, kakasensei agrees... you shouldn’t give up your life so willingly"

 

the pink haired girl had been shook for a moment by the blondes booming voice, but she returned to full force at his words.

 

"that’s such bullshit, i’ve lived my life trying to one day be helpful to you! and-"

 

"that’s exactly it!", the blonde cut in and successfully halted her train of thought- "you shouldn’t be living your life for anyone but yourself!"

 

_he’s right_

 

"sakura,," he paused to grab her hands in his and look her straight in the eyes, "what do you _really_ want??"

 

what.... do i want?

 

a lifetime’s worth of choices came flooding back to her, did she really live her life just to save sasuke? she certainly spent most of her time in training to be able to help them if the time ever arrived, and it had, she reminded herself, you helped them defeat a god.

 

but is that _really_ all i want?

 

sakura certainly liked working at the hospital, and the diplomatic meetings with tsunade were fun in a way too; but what did she _Really_ want?

 

to sleep honestly

 

she pushed past her deep-seated fatigue, _damn maybe a vacation wouldnt be so bad afterall_.. tho she knew the rest would be pointless in the end- maybe it'd be good for her body, but her mind would be drowning. all her work, all her responsibilities, going undone in her absence... she landed on her true desire from the prickle of guilt that flickered thru her conscious at the thought..

 

_i want to be useful_

 

but wasn’t that what she was doing now?

 

everything she'd done after the war had been her decision, and she'd helped aLot of people too.. so wasn't this what she wanted?

 

 _i Chose this_ , her sensible side rationalized, _so it must be what i want!_

 

right?

 

god, _whatever_ \- i can't keep this going for much longer..

 

sleep-deprived and sobering up, sakura shook her hands free from naruto's crushing grip to pinch the bridge of her nose, hoping to delay the impending headache.

 

_god why was i even doing this again???_

 

she looked back at naruto, the guilt and shame in his eyes evident to her weathered gaze,

 

_ah, right.._

 

"is that really the only reason you're keeping this from me?"

 

"y-yeah.... "

 

the girl stared at him with squinted eyes as he felt sweat bead on his forehead

 

"well,, also......"

 

naruto paused to rub the back of his neck nervously, but continued..

 

"sasuke,, doesn't want you to....help"

 

she knew the word he Didn’t say was _interfere_ , but she appreciated the blonde letting her keep some dignity.

 

 _why would sasuke care,_ she thought, _stupid sakura, you know he doesn't care about you, but ya just keep setting yourself up for disappointment_

 

this is pathetic

 

"yeah... okay. i wont get in the way, just..... please.. let me know if he's okay?"

 

old habits die hard, i guess

 

"o-of course i'll-... i'll keep you informed.."

 

sakura couldn't help the tears welling up in her eyes, but when the first drop fell down her cheek, she flinched.

 

pathetic

 

_stupid weak crybaby sakura, having to go and cry to naruto to get anything done_

 

 _fuck_ , her eyes scrunched up as she tried to hold back her emotions, _her dumb weak emotions_ , but the tension only turned into heaving half-sobs and a fully flushed face.

 

just as the now emotionally exhausted girl was about to turn face and run, she felt warm strong familiar chakra surround her.

 

natuto didn’t say anything as he tightly wrapped her in his arm, but she felt the sympathy tears leaving wet marks on her shoulders.

 

they embraced in silence for awhile before mutually unwinding, with naruto’s arm still sitting around her neck, and sakura’s clinging to his back. the two looked at eachother, years of friendship clouding their vision with flickers of who they used to be.. before the war, before the years of training,, before sasuke left.

 

it was sakura who pulled away first- the promise of her morning shift at the hospital looming ever closer- but before turning away and heading home she squeezed the blonde a final time.

 

"thank you, naruto..... for everything"

 

"sakura-chan, you don’t owe me any thank you's anymore", he shot his signature grin and the girl shot her hands up to cover the darkening blush on her cheeks.

 

_god naruto really was something else_

 

"tch, idiot" she reached to ruffle his hair foundly, and the two shared a laugh before naruto trailed his hand down to hold sakura's between them.. he gave a firm squeeze and a quick smile before making the signs for his teleportation jutsu and vanishing in a puff of smoke.

\----

 

after that night things were different.

naruto kept true to his word of keeping sakura informed, tho she knew there were things being kept from her (she Still wasn’t allowed into the briefings) but the blonde met up with her every week and gave a basic rundown of things…. she appreciated the thought more than anything, naruto had always cared about her.

 

He was certainly the only man she’d ever really been close to, and she knew the bond between them would never been broken but…the rift was there... and at this point it could only grow larger...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahaaa what an angsty note to end this super long chapter on 
> 
> thanks for reading the first part of my naruto fix-it fic! tbh ive been writing this in my head for Years now so its fun to finally get it out lol and i have a lot i wanna do with this so...strap in lads...
> 
> next chapter is narusasu flashbacks and more sakura plot!! bc this fic is Really abt her and i love her so much guys wow
> 
> thanks again!! follow my tumblr for more stupid naruto content


	2. damaged

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i thought that i should let you know

no one knew what to expect when sasuke and naruto woke up. a mere three people fully understood what had happened to them, and chakra bonding to the extent theirs had was... almost unprecedented.

 

tsunade had been shocked after their first check-up, the blonde woman almost not believing what she knew to be true.

 

'"it's.... ridiculous really, i don’t.." she spoke as she examined them, hands extended over their chests glowing,"bonding like this it... it isn't something you see very often anymore"

 

their beds had been moved closer so the original medic nin could examine both boys at the same time. the chakra in her palms, at first the usual vivid green hue of a medic's, had turned a blinding white. the rudimentary physical exam was long finished, (everything was fine, as expected; sakura's first aid had been so excellent the hospital staff didn't have much left to patch up) but the woman wanted to get a better idea of the chakra anomaly she'd sensed in them.

 

"its ancient,,," her eyes shut, not squeezed tight, but firm and unmoving in concentration, "..almost like a sealing jutsu..."

 

"does it feel like kushina's work?" kakashi quietly interjected, his hands unconsciously wringing in an uncharacteristic display of nerves.

 

"not particularly, but i'm sure the uzumaki bloodline is strengthening their... connection." tsunade answered equally quiet, concentrating hard as she moved her hands over them

 

"it's... it's like they're.. the same person”"

 

“"the- **_the same person???_** ”"

 

kakashi and sakura had both chimed in, shock raising their voices enough for the blonde woman to sternly shush them.

 

"h-how??-" kakashi recovered faster, but sakura quickly cut him off,

 

"what does that _mean_ , shishou?"

 

"well, no...." tsunade, had moved her hands back to hover over the boys' chests. the chakra slowly faded back to green, and she withdrew her hands to cross them over her chest in thought; she spoke more to herself than the other two. "maybe.. its more like.. they _became_ the same person.... but, they're still very much themselves... its strange, really, their chakra now is so.... different."

 

"different, **_how_**?"

 

the kounichi had raised her voice past hospital staff regulations again, but tsunade didn't seem to notice her exasperation.

 

"hmm, well.... it seems almost… linked, really. i think,, we'll just have to wait and see when they wake up"

 

sakura almost let slip an entirely _not_ hospital appropriate phrase, at a definitely _not_ hospital appropriate volume, but she was stilled by kakashi's firm hand on her shoulder.

 

"sakura..” he paused, the hints of his hidden smile only barely visible to her long-experienced eye, "everything is fine with them.... ultimately. you know too, right? you healed them at the valley of the end that day."

 

yeah- she'd closed up the festering stumps of what'd been left of their arms, sure, but that didn't mean much here. she had sensed an.. anomaly in their chakra at the time- but nothing like what her master had been describing.

 

shaking off her old sensei, sakura walked over to the bed and stared at the two (but mainly sasuke) for a solid minute.

 

kakashi merely watched her, the both of them oblivious to tsunade's calculating gaze.

 

" _well_ , guess we should get going then, sakura" the blonde woman walked over to her protege, clasping a comforting but firm hand on the kounichi's tense shoulders, "we do have other patients after-all"

 

"y-yeah,, i..i know.." yet her eyes never left the pair.

 

" _godaime_ " an urgent but whispered cry from kakashi, hushed enough to clearly indicate his wish to speak to tsunade... alone

 

sakura wasn’t so dumb as to Not get the hint. she knew it was probably nothing important, there were plenty of things she didn’t have the security clearance to know about, but this... for some reason _this_ felt personal.

 

tsunade leveled a glare at the man, her arms sitting crossed over her chest. was Now really the time, idiot??

 

"actually.. shishou," sakura chimed in, still not looking up from her unconscious teammates, "i'll go on ahead- i need to go _uh,,_ freshen up really quick.. i’ll meet you in the next patients' room, okay!"

 

and the girl bursted out through the doors without a glance back, just as the first tear hit her cheek.

 

\----

 

**_sasuke...._ **

 

the boy's eyes shot open at the sound of his name.

 

he was in.... a forest.. no. not any forest.

the uchiha forest. just outside the family enclosure's high gates, so so near to his old training grounds.

 

he chocked down the suppressed memories and questions of how exactly he'd gotten there, as a flash of yellow caught his eye.

 

naruto

 

sasuke hadn’t seen him yet, but he didn't need to. it was Definitely him.

 

_sasuke!_

 

the call came again, of course, how could he not recognize that obnoxious voice... after years of haunting his dreams, the raven must have had the sound memorized by now.

 

_sasuke_

 

“what- where?? where are you going, dobe?”

 

the uchiha watched as naruto's hazy image flitted through the dense trees, still some distance away but oblivious in his presence.

 

_sasuke_

 

and suddenly, the scene changed.

 

naruto was right beside him, kneeling on the ground, blood quickly pooling around his knees and dripping from the katana gripped in the raven's remaining hand.

 

“sa... suke…”

 

“oh,, my god..!” he panicked- dropping the blade as quick as if it had burned him, and collapsed forward to drape himself over the blonde's side

 

"naruto, are you... what happened??"

 

he didn't reply, only gripped his palms over the profusely bleeding hole in his stomach. sasuke reached out a trembling hand, joining naruto's in pressing on the fresh wound.

 

"did- did i... _did i do this_??"

 

he didn’t answer for a long minute, taking long shaky breaths as sasuke's grip tightened over his.

 

"its okay, sasuke. i’m okay"

 

and, actually, despite the certainly fatal gash he was sporting, naruto sounded fine.

but sasuke had yet to get a good look at his face..

 

"are you?? god, naruto, i've... i've never seen this much blood come from one person.."

 

"what are you talking about sasuke, i’m fine."

 

"what are You talking about, you clearly Aren't"

 

the blonde merely laughed. throwing his head back to cackle towards the sky in a way sasuke knows the blonde had never done before. his profile was striking, a sudden burst of sunlight blinding sasuke to all but the blonde's strong jawline and crooked nose. the raven was stuck, mesmerized by the blonde's mere presence, and could only stare as naruto lowered his head and slowly moved to face him.

 

tho when he turned, the face greeting sasuke was not that of his partner, but his brother.

eye sockets gouged empty and streaming dark red-black blood down itachi's weathered face.

 

sasuke fell back, tripping on his own feet in the haste to get up and run, but itachi just smiled at him. a haunting stretched toothy grin, as the long dead uchiha followed his brother, head swiveling before his body in the creepy way owls do.

 

he couldn’t move. paralyzed with fear, sasuke found himself vividly reliving his brother's final moments; the memories mixing with the current itachi in front of him as he moved his blood-stained fingers to gently poke at his precious younger brother's forehead.

 

**_sasuke_ **

 

the raven woke up in a cold sweat. not immediately familiar with his surroundings, and still coming down from his haunting dream. his eyes darted around faster than his body could keep up, but as he looked to the adjacent bed, he was met with familiar warm blue eyes.

 

“hey, dumbass”

 

naruto was propped up in his bed, leaning over sasuke's in a way that was both uncomfortably intimate and somehow not close enough.

 

“n-naruto….”

 

sasuke started dumbly at the blonde for a moment. _it was just a dream,_ naruto was fine, was Alive, and sasuke found his heartbeat steadily slow as he stared at the blonde.

 

the memories all came back in a flood. the war, the fight against madara, and kaguya, and naruto...

 

the phantom tingling in his severed arm brought his attention back to the present. _what a strange feeling_ , sasuke pondered as he went thru the motions of checking the status of his body. naruto continued to stare, not hostile, not impatient, almost.... fondly. deeply staring as if re-memorizing the details of his face. it was when he regained eye contact with the blonde that he spoke up,,

 

“i… i cant believe you're here..”

 

sasuke said nothing, still overwhelmed by the flood of information flowing into his mind, but naruto knew he was listening

 

“i was so scared...you'd be gone.. that you'd leave me again..”

 

“naruto, you know i’d never do that.”

 

“do i?”

 

“yeah, you..... you can see them too, right?” sasuke paused, finally looking up to hold naruto’s gaze. 

 

“the same things i can see..” it sounded cryptic and stupid out loud, but the raven didn’t quite yet have words to describe what he and naruto shared now.

their…. bond. or whatever… it was….. honestly it was a Lot. their presence sitting in eachother’s mind, heady and strong, almost… intoxicating (or maybe that was just the painkillers still dripping into his bloodstream from the iv)

 

“i- yeah.... yeah, i can.” the boys had always been closer than they cared to admit, but now.. it was like they could see eachother's minds. it was so new and exhilarating, and t _errifying_ , this feeling of being completely seen and known…. but neither could find it in them to be upset, the intrusion more welcome and comfortable than either could have imagined.

 

"then there you go."

 

"but i.....sasuke, i.... cant believe you're Here"

 

"well, believe it, dumbass"

 

naruto actually laughed at that, and continued on while flashing sasuke his thousand watt smile,

“hahahahaa yeah, i- i guess you're right.”

 

and somehow, some way, in a manner that seemed so practiced and natural, naruto kissed him. it was soft, and comforting, the bond immediately overwhelming their senses.

 

the spark had always been there, each boy could feel it like a burning stinging itch on the back of their consciousness that was begging to be scratched. and with the added constant awareness of eachother.. it was a rush. it was almost like experiencing the same thing from both sides, their bond facilitating a full connection and drowning them in sensation.

 

they were both still hazy and slightly sedated, so the reality of what was happening was probably not fully registering, but neither boy had any intention of stopping. somehow naruto had managed to crawl over into sasuke’s bed and was pressing into him in a way that would have immediately activated his fight-or-flight reaction had it been anyone else. But with naruto, sasuke felt safe,, protected, comfortable, _treasured,_ the blonde circling him in his arms as they continued their unhurried impromptu make-out session.

 

they kissed passionately but slowly, the residual meds in their systems making them lethargic, and sasuke soon found himself drifting off at the pleasurable feeling of naruto pressing his lips up and down his neck.

 

the last thing he heard before succumbing to sleep again was a whisper of his name, full of passion and muttered directly into his fluttering pulse point, and it was crazy that, here, in naruto’s arms, sasuke had never felt more at home.

 

—

 

neither of the two spoke of The Kiss.

 

it’s not like it was a big deal or anything, really. it wasn’t either of their first kiss, and it wasn’t even their first _together_ , but… they were scared.

 

sasuke had woken up the next morning alone in his bed, naruto feigning sleep to avoid a weird conversation, even tho naruto Clearly wanted to talk about it, ( _how could he not understand that sasuke could almost Literally read his thoughts now???_ ) but the raven wanted to be patient and let naruto sort through his shit on his own…

 

the bond was still very new and very frightening. and it wasn't that sasuke didn't understand naruto's hidden stress, bc he really, Really did, but... how could he help naruto with a problem he himself hadn’t even solved?

 

their feelings weren’t new or even newly requited, but now, with no barriers separating their thoughts, the reality of their,,, relationship.. from both sides….

 

it was just...so much... and so...... all encompassing..

 

it was hard in those first couple days to adjust to the difference. the constant connection and never-ending flood of eachothers' thoughts and feelings clouding their minds in an unfamiliar haze.

 

the way they had bonded, so intensely and quickly, had been, well, terrifying really.... and with the link between their emotions, fights escalated even faster than usual. (one of their first after waking up had ended in narutos iv getting ripped out and sasuke reopening multiple stitches)- but nothing really bad had happened yet so they got off with a few stern lectures and twin smacks from sakura.

 

the pink-haired girl came around often, her unique brand of tension diffusing calming the two down in a way neither knew they needed. her presence brought with it a slight distraction from the constant hum of eachothers unfiltered thoughts.

 

it was a lot to get used to- sasuke had to stop himself from laughing at naruto's inner-dialogue mid many conversations, and the raven felt an acute awareness to naruto's awareness of him... though the boy couldn't yet tell if naruto could hear his thoughts too... the blond either hadn't figured out how to shield his thoughts or didn't want to, and the constant barrage from his mind clouded the raven's subconscious.

 

the two spent their first week mostly in awkward silence, knowing if they had a conversation the link between them would transfer feelings to the other quicker than they could speak. but eventually the silence got boring, and the two secretly longed to hear the other's voice, so they decided to try.

 

at first they tried playing stupid word games or making idle chitchat, but in the end, trapped in twin hospital beds, there really wasn't much for the pair to do but talk... and they did.

 

actually... sasuke did most of the talking... with naruto just listening closely and chiming in with occasional quips. so, with no real distractions, an extremely willing audience, and a slightly more than normal amount of painkillers, sasuke talked.

 

more than he'd Ever talked in his life.

 

he wasnt sure what compelled him to do it, why he decided to spill his guts to a boy he'd been thinking about killing for years, but he did. and naruto listened. their linked emotions making no need for the blondes words. he had always been a guy full of emotions, and the intensity and clarity of his feelings in sasukes mind waslike a drug. it was relief, it was release,

it was validation.

 

 _finally_ someone fully understood, could transcend the cold hard barriers surrounding the uchiha's broken fucked up heart and not run away screaming

 

naruto wanted to help him. deeply, desperately, the blonde wanted sasuke to heal the old festering wounds on his heart. to grow above and beyond the fate of their intertwined souls and find true happiness… in eachother

 

and sasuke's new found understanding of that was,, staggering.

 

he had called himself an avenger, but in the haze of coming to terms with his false grudge, he'd lashed out against the only thing left to avenge. konoha had killed his family. there’s really no way around the truth of it, and in sasuke's mind it was justified to destroy the village that had caused his clan's extinction.

 

really, he'd just been scared.

 

and with itachi's truth still resounding like a lie in his head, sasuke had felt nothing but anger. and panic.

 

he knows that all the people he actually cared about (all three of them) held no malice against the acts of revenge he undertook. after learning the truth, all of team 7 immediately forgave sasuke for everything, including his multiple attempted assassinations (a fact which the boy Still didn’t fully understand)

 

he was grateful nonetheless, talking at naruto had done wonders for his self-awareness and he at last understood the root of his former teammates' easy forgiveness...

 

_love_

 

it was a hard emotion of the raven haired boy to come to terms with, but naruto was.... teaching him to love again

 

its crazy really, the effect this boy has on people... sasuke recalled all the wayward nins naruto had basically talked down from the brink.. the kind of power he has is... electric, no.... compelling, no... warm

 

sasuke would swear he’s never felt this.. _warm_ in his life. the energy flowing into him thru the blonde was intoxicating, making him give in to his impulses and truly speak his mind..

 

it was no wonder when things finally escalated

 

it had been 3 weeks since The Kiss. Still nothing had been said, but the occasional hot rushes of undeniable lust the two could feel off eachother from time to time was getting unbearable.

 

something had to be done.

 

so sasuke was trying to think of that... something.. sitting on the bed, legs hanging in the small space between his and naruto's, looking around trying not to let his gaze linger on his roommate for too long..

he took a long grounded breathe, okay, he was ready

 

"naruto..." the blonde in question was re-reading an old copy of jiraya’s first novel, Tales of a Splendid Ninja.

 _whatever the fuck That means_ , the raven had no idea what it was about, but he’d watched his companion read and re-read that book like a bible.

 

"hmm.. what, dumbass?" he didn’t look up from his book, thumbing the pages to continue on the next side

 

"don’t call me a dumbass, fucktart."

 

"thats not even a real swear word uchiha, grow up." naruto gibbed, but finally put down his stupid book and flashed a _sexy_ stupid teasing grin.

 

"oh,, my god-" sasuke paused, pinching his nose to hide the fond smile creeping up his lips, "whatever, can i ask you something?"

 

the blonde turned in his bed to smile cheekily at his companion, "you just did"

 

sasuke threw a pillow at him

 

naruto caught it with ease as he laughed, the raven Would be angry but... its hard to be mad when the target of your malice is radiating affection towards you.

 

fuck, sasuke felt his face flush and he quickly turned to hide from the blonde's questioning squint. he cleared his throat before pressing on,

 

"hn, anyway..." he paused again... _fuck there's really no good way to ask this_ ,,

 

“naruto.. why.. why did you”

 

_why did you chase after me? why did you kiss me?? why do you love me???_

 

“why did you..... keep.. looking for me?”

 

"what? that's a stupid question, stupid. you already know the answer to that.." naruto wasnt meeting his partner's eyes now, a sure sign of him hiding something..

         _as if the bond isn't broadcasting your real feelings to me anyway... idiot,,_

 

the uchiha really didn't wanna make naruto uncomfortable, but this Needed to be addressed...

 

"yeah but do i tho??" he was trying so Hard to not succumb to the anxiety naruto was projecting at him, but his voice was raising just slightly beyond his control,

"i dont think you've ever Truly vocalized, like, What _exactly_  you feel about me.." he crossed his arms over his chest, and watched naruto's eyes flicker down to his slightly pouted lips.

 

        _fucking idiot_

 

"y- yes i have," naruto stuttered, gaze flitting around, locking eyes would make this so much harder. he was trying so hard to Not be embarrassed about his feelings,,, but that was making him embarrassed about Being embarrassed- basically spiraling (and sasuke could Feel it, his hidden fears broadcasted straight to the ravens brain) but soon naruto gathered himself, words coming just a bit easier

 

"ive told you...you're-" he cut himself off mid-sentence to his gather his thoughts, twiddling with his book in nerves, "you're my... my closest friend-person... thing..."

 

"uh-huh. very articulate, dobe."

 

"shut! up,, you know im not good with words" his face was fully flushed now, everything he'd been too afraid to say sitting hotly on his tongue.

 

" _Try_ " sasuke didn't want to force him, but it was time. he tried to send waves of calm to his partnerthru the bond, his own feelings unconsciously ( _embarrassingly)_  mixing in.

 _fuck fuck fuck,,,_ not that the idiot couldn't just look into their subconscious and see Exactly what he felt for him at anytime... so Why was this so hard???

 

the uchiha could literally pinpoint the moment naruto felt his intentions. his face slackened noticeably, eyes closing firmly as his face glowed bright red and he supressed a small fond grin.

 

"okay okay," the blonde calmed down, opening his eyes and putting his book down to sit closer to his partner.

 

"uhhhh, you're like....like, someone i feel very... connected to, ya' know??" naruto was still having trouble keeping eye-contact, but with every long pause he met sasuke's stare, the tension between them almost tangible, "we have a bond that runs deeper than any relationship i've really ever experienced before,... and uh,, i feel like... when you're not around.. a part of me is missing,,, sasuke, you- you're my... my other half"

 

"your better half"

 

it caught naruto off-guard, sasuke's interjection, but he laughed. sasuke had just voiced his exact thoughts, and it was a strange kind of rush, being known

 

"yeah, haha-a,, yeah, you.. you get me, and not just now because of this.. thing," he gestured wildly between them, sasuke having to hide his fond smile at the -endearing- childish action,

"you're... like, everything im not and ive always.... really admired you..."

 

sasuke felt a steady blush creep over his face again, shit shit shit this was getting deep

 

"i- being with you-..." naruto continued on, either oblivious to or ignoring sasuke's desperate to attempts to cover his flushing cheeks, "...when im with you, even when we fight, i... i feel like im complete.."

 

"so i complete you"

 

"uh, ha- hahaha, i guess??but its more, its like.... i feel happier when i'm with you,and i know..." naruto paused, eyes flicking up to meet his partner's, "i know you.... feel the same."

 

"wh- what do you mean?" shit shit Fuck, he wasn't ready to talk about His feelings yet, this was supposed to just be about naruto,,, "s-stupid idiot,, how would You know.." he couldnt help deflecting. old habits die hard, and sasuke found himself surprisingly un-ready to says any big confessions right now.. fuck, didnt this Bond™️ shit make them immune to big talks like this???

 

dont play dumb sasuke i know you've already figured it out.

 

figured What out, naruto??" sasuke snapped at him, more bark than bite as usual, but naruto was all but immune to his sharp tongue now.

 

"uhh, our bond??" even with the crackling aggression in the air, naruto pressed on, "we can basically read eachothers' fucking thoughts here and, i know it... seems redundant but i think.... maybe, we should talk about it"

 

"what do u wanna talk about, naruto. what more could you possibly need to know here??" it was so hard to Not get mad, seeing as it was his go-to reaction for any emotional confrontation since he was 12, but sasuke was already getting sick of the feeling.. being mad at naruto never felt satisfying

 

"i dont know, maybe just... " naruto rubbed the back on his neck, attempting to hide his fully flushed face "to hear it in your voice for real?" naruto moved so his legs hung over the bed- tangling with sasuke's in the narrow space between them.

 

sasuke ruined the moment, naturally, with a signature 'tch'

 

"dont fucking scoff at me dickweed," naruto was quickly losing his already worn-thin patience, "you were the one who wanted to talk!"

 

"maybe im, sick of talking..." sasuke had no idea what he was saying, his brain foggy with their combined consciousness. naruto's deep-seated want for him was clouding his common-sense- they Needed to talk but sasuke couldn't bring himself to concentrate and he was tired of naruto's anxiety always making them afraid and wow had narutos lips always looked so perfectly inviting??

_!!!! wait wait No- **fuck** ,_

 

            too late.

 

the memories of The Kiss sent spikes of lust down their spines, eyes itching tomeet as the tension between them grew

 

"oh yeah?" naruto kept darting looks at him with half lidded eyes, his tongue peeking out to wet his lips, fuck fuck Shit, "what'd'ya wanna do then"

 

"i... i dont know" sasuke wasnt nervous per-say, more like..... absolutely terrified.

 

this was moving _so fast_ and it wasn’t that he didn’t Want it, _fuck did he want it_ , but he wasn’t sure if This was really the time to be getting into.. this kinda relationship with naruto (they hadn’t really seen eachother in Years and sasuke was still feeling a little... raw from the past months)

 

but deep down.. like really deep, beneath all his doubts and fears and anxieties telling him it would never work out, he couldn't help but think that being with naruto (in every sense of that, being with; making a home a family a life together) was the only thing that could save him..

 

"i think you do.." naruto pressed on, leaning just a little bit closer, as his eyes flicked up to sasuke's.

 

a jolt of clear understanding ran thru them as their gaze connected

 

_shit shit Shit!!_

 

"oh 'you think i do',," sasuke Had to deflect, turning away from the blonde to hide his heavy -embarrassing- blush, _naruto! he- he was about to kiss me!!!_

 

"w-what does that even mean, idiot"

 

"it- it doesn’t mean anything!" mood ruined once again by uchiha, the boy felt bad that it was really the only way he knew how to handle the situation right now but..

naruto was really feeling very.. serious feelings for him..

 

it had been a very long time since sasuke had truly felt love, like real ride-or-die chase you to the end of the world love, and what he'd felt from naruto just now sent that same comfortable warm feeling straight to his heart

 

_he... he really loves me_

 

"why are you playing dumb here, sasuke i know what you want!" not liking the raven's sulking, naruto loudly interjected, hand raising to touch sasuke's 

 

“you dont know shit," still turned away from his partner, mainly to conceal his raging blush, sasuke smacked naruto's hand away.

 

"yes, i _do_ \- , god" clearly annoyed now, naruto tensed himself for the inevitable fight. "why are you making this so hard??

 

"im not doing anything, for fucks sake, naruto- its not always about you!

 

“wh- how is this Not about me right now!!" he was full on yelling, but sasuke barely noticed. it was hard to think over the rush of emotions pulsing in the back of their brains like a time-bomb, "its about Us you angsty emo freak!"

 

sasuke couldn't think of a good comeback, the bond clouding his senses and replacing everything with _naruto naruto Naruto_ , so he spat out this first thing that popped into his head,

"stupid fucking dumbass!"

 

and they launched at eachother, grabbing handfuls of flimsy hospital gowns, but instead of bashing eachothers heads in (the only move two one-armed men on bed rest could pull off here) they met face to face and snarled before their lips smashed together

 

neither could say who started it, but once it began it was like it had always been happening. like, why had they Not been doing this all the time??

 

it felt so good and right, all their motions coming so naturally, like they were made for this. the bond buzzed with satisfaction pushing their consciousness even further together, merging them, the sensations mixing as the two experienced their pleasure from the other's body. it was almost like drowning, minds thick with fog, the two forgetting to breathe until sasuke finally pulled back to gasp for air.

 

they’d ended up on naruto's bed, sasuke straddling him with naruto's hands clutched firmly around his waist.

he struggled to form words around the haze, no rational thoughts coming over the force of the bond itching for them to reconnect. after a few moments of nothing but the two's labored breathing, sasuke finally found his voice

 

"fuck, naruto, what is going on here??"

 

the blonde chuckled in response, the sound vibrating thru sasuke’s chest and sending shivering sparks down his spine

 

"honestly, i have No fucking idea"

 

"ha- haha, aah, god, i.. i thought you'd say that..." he hadnt meant to laugh, not really, but he felt loose and open, drunk from the heady sensations of their still pressed together bodies. ”yeah me-... me neither,, but i..." sasuke didn’t know what he was saying, the words leaving his mouth faster than his mind could keep up, "i don’t,,, i don’t want to stop"

 

"me too, _sasuke_ -"

 

it all happened so fast; naruto quickly flipped up sasuke's gown, knowing the raven usually went commando, and pressed his palm against sasuke's fully hard dick

 

"hnn, f-Fuck"

 

as embarrassing as is it to admit, sasuke almost came right then and there.

naruto's huge warm calloused hand covered most of him, lightly cupping his balls with the tips of his fingers,

 

"god i.. i've wanted to do this for... for so long"

 

oh yeah?" sasuke tried his usual snark, but found the sharp edges of his taunt dulled by lust, "did'ja think about me when you masturbated, dobe?"

 

"yeah- i... i did"

 

_holy fucking shit_

 

“uh-uhhhh” sasuke's whole face must have went blank as his mouth gaped,

_i didnt think he was really gonna answer!!_

 

naruto was grinning at the raven's obvious shock, teasing his partner as the hand around sasuke tightened.

 

”hahaha! your face got so red! sasuke, that's adorable"

 

"ohmyGod shut up" the boy couldnt help his blush, _naruto is so embarrassing_

 

"you... you look really good like this.."

 

"haa, ha haha, thats cute naruto, but you don’t need to say shit like that to me"

 

"shit like What, asshole, i mean it"

 

sasuke couldn't say anything to that, _this stupid idiot must be too dumb to be embarrassed_

 

"hey! no im not!"

 

_oh shit, said that out loud i guess_

 

_…actually, wait.... theres no way i-_

 

before he could finish the thought, naruto was kissing him again,

and suddenly it didn't matter- Nothing mattered, and slowly sasuke surrendered himself to the rush of blood boiling under his skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sup y'all- thanks for reading!!!  
> sorry this is so.. long lol it was originally gonna have some real porn at the end but ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ sorry guys i was Not feeling inspired for it here haha soon tho! 
> 
> in typical naruto fashion this was basically a huge flashback, so next chap will be back to the real story lol also- writing sasuke is so fun but.... draining.... the next part is gonna be major plot/ sakura shit so it'll finally be time for my Real Favs to shine
> 
> as always- tumblr* thescarlettbitch  
> pls talk to me abt naruto hcs


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